I hate being OCD.
Hate it, hate it, hate it.
I’ve never been diagnosed as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), but it has taken me up to 20 minutes to leave my apartment. During the time that it takes me to leave – I’m checking and re-checking EVERYTHING. Making sure that all of the heaters are off (even though we only used them twice this last winter), that everything’s unplugged (hairdryer, straightener, iron, toaster, tea-maker, etc. — even if I haven’t used any of them), making sure that the oven is off, double checking, triple checking Titan’s crate if he’s home. Then, once I finally get out the door, I usually pop back in to re-check Titan’s crate, then I usually have to glance again at all of the outlets…and it goes on and on.
Once I’ve suffiencently checked everything and convinced myself that it is OK TO LEAVE, I close and lock the front door, then check it again. I usually end up walking about 10 feet away, and then coming back AGAIN to check it one final time. It’s easiest if I have someone on the phone who can listen to me check everything, so I have reassurance that I DID check everything. And everything is off.
I don’t have a routine – like I don’t have to lock and unlock and lock the front door 3 times. Or not step on any cracks, or bring my own silverware. (But I am obsessive about getting veins out of meat when I’m cooking. It freaks me out when they’re in there, so I have to cut them out when I am preparing food). I’m also kind of obsessive about washing my hands, especially when cooking. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
I guess I could go see a doctor. Or people have suggested making a list that I can check off each time I leave the house. But I don’t think that would help…I just need to be more confident in myself, making sure that I check everything, and trust that I did. Cause I always do, I can’t leave without checking. So why do I have to re-check, and re-check again?
I think this is my dad’s fault. Honestly – I remember being a little kid and we’d leave the house and my dad would say, “Did I close the garage?” And we’d have to drive back around the block again, and check….So the seeds started early!
LOL, Jason and I have that problem as well. We always have to check to make sure that the stove off. Even if we’re still around the house. We don’t want the place to burn down. We blame our mom for creating that worry in us. It’s not necessarily a bad quality to have, but it can get annoying. I don’t know how many times I’ve backed up the street just to make sure the garage door was closed. So what if I pressed against the refrigerator door for a 5th time to make sure it was closed.